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Demanding g/f's

Started by AndyDT, January 10, 2012, 03:37:07 PM

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chknptpie

#35
January 11, 2012, 07:14:26 AM
I'm sure there are times where I get a little crazy, actually I know there are. But I always come around and realize that it was my issue and we move on. If this is something that doesn't go away and she doesn't recognize that its a bit crazy, then you gotta move on.

Tick

#36
January 11, 2012, 07:26:13 AM
Quote from: TioJorge on January 10, 2012, 09:04:58 PM
Quote from: El Barto on January 10, 2012, 08:50:13 PM
This above all: to thine own self be true.

Yes indeedy!
...
I wrote graffiti on the bus
First I'd write her name then carve a plus with my name last on the looking glass, I seen her yesterday but still I had to let her pass.
...
AND THAT'S WHAT YOU SHOULD DO BUDDY ANDY, LET THAT HO PASS.
Wait a tick..

Kbedtime see you guys in the hang over.
That's right, you better go to sleep.

TioJorge

#37
January 11, 2012, 07:27:20 AM
WELL NOW I'M UP AND READY TO



go back to bed because I hate women and can't stop thinking about one... siiiiiiiiiiiiidrive the hearrrrrssssewaaaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

snapple

#38
January 11, 2012, 07:29:28 AM
I'm not one to tell people to just leave someone. That's clearly up to you. You need to ask her what her expectations are from you. Then, after she's finished, talk to her about your expectations. See how you feel about it, then decide what you want to do.

lordxizor

#39
January 11, 2012, 07:30:50 AM
Quote from: snapple on January 11, 2012, 07:29:28 AM
I'm not one to tell people to just leave someone. That's clearly up to you. You need to ask her what her expectations are from you. Then, after she's finished, talk to her about your expectations. See how you feel about it, then decide what you want to do.
I don't know. It doesn't sound to me like he's into her enough to even bother. But he's the only one who knows the answer to that question.

snapple

#40
January 11, 2012, 07:32:40 AM
I can't say I know him, so that's the best advice I can give, I guess  :justjen

lordxizor

#41
January 11, 2012, 07:33:58 AM
Quote from: snapple on January 11, 2012, 07:32:40 AM
I can't say I know him, so that's the best advice I can give, I guess  :justjen
It is good advice if he's into her other than her silly demands. :)

snapple

#42
January 11, 2012, 07:37:49 AM
That conversation was a hard one with my fiancee and I. Granted, we started dating in highschool. But it's not an easy one. You're always told that relationships are about the other person. I find that to be absolutely true, but I also need to know what my fiancee expects of me, what I expect of her (which should be nothing), and what I expect of myself. For me, when I spent so long trying to focus on her, when the focus was on myself, I really had a hard time with it. I hope that makes sense.  :lol

Tick

#43
January 11, 2012, 07:40:41 AM
Quote from: TioJorge on January 11, 2012, 07:27:20 AM
WELL NOW I'M UP AND READY TO



go back to bed because I hate women and can't stop thinking about one... siiiiiiiiiiiiidrive the hearrrrrssssewaaaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
:lol

Sir GuitarCozmo

#44
January 11, 2012, 07:43:01 AM

tofee35

#45
January 11, 2012, 08:14:52 AM
I'd say you want to find yourself somebody who's more independent and doesn't need the constant attention. They're out there.

Orbert

#46
January 11, 2012, 08:50:22 AM
Quote from: snapple on January 11, 2012, 07:37:49 AM
That conversation was a hard one with my fiancee and I. Granted, we started dating in highschool. But it's not an easy one. You're always told that relationships are about the other person. I find that to be absolutely true, but I also need to know what my fiancee expects of me, what I expect of her (which should be nothing), and what I expect of myself. For me, when I spent so long trying to focus on her, when the focus was on myself, I really had a hard time with it. I hope that makes sense.  :lol

In other words, it's a two-way street.  A relationship is based on both people looking out for the wants and needs of the other, and finding happiness in knowing that their time together benefits both of them.  Not every single thing; there will be times when one has to give a little so the other can have a little, but overall there must be give and take.

It sounds to me like in Andy's situation, one person's doing all the giving and the other's doing all the taking.  Not healthy.

KevShmev

#47
January 11, 2012, 08:59:58 AM
Get out while your balls are still partially in tact.  This girl sounds like she is constant need of validation, and that will drive any man nuts.  Any girl who insists on being spoiled is not worth wasting time on, unless she is a beast in the sack (which crazy girls often are), in which case you milk for all its worth for as long as you can keep yourself sane. :biggrin:

wkiml

#48
January 11, 2012, 09:19:50 AM

AndyDT

#49
January 12, 2012, 03:16:19 AM
Quote from: KevShmev on January 11, 2012, 08:59:58 AM
Get out while your balls are still partially in tact.  This girl sounds like she is constant need of validation, and that will drive any man nuts.  Any girl who insists on being spoiled is not worth wasting time on, unless she is a beast in the sack (which crazy girls often are), in which case you milk for all its worth for as long as you can keep yourself sane. :biggrin:
We had the same last night. Two hours of being criticised in public. She said she was disgusted that I brought up the money, clothes, shelter, meals and time I'd given or lent her after she said she been given a lot more by other men. Eventually I said I've said all I can and waited for her while she left in the train.

I didn't hug and kiss her for long enough and so there was no communication apart from criticism. I said communication and building trust and understanding and sharing was what relationships was based on but she kept coming back to the length of hug/kiss. It's like she's looking at a some idealised image and not even seeing me at all. I read last night after the event in a christian book (How to get a date worth keeping) that this is a fantasy and delusion that's been built up by the movie and TV industries over many years and that love is built by many things like I've just said.

Jirpo

#50
January 12, 2012, 03:49:28 AM
Just end it already man.

Super Dude

#52
January 12, 2012, 05:20:42 AM
Girl sounds like a nut. Show her what's what....in the butt.

AndyDT

#53
January 12, 2012, 05:28:59 AM
Why is she telling me she loves me and it was just her hurt? If you love somebody why do you attaack them for hours? it's like she loves an image of me that I'm not living up to and her mind is trying to tell her to face reality which she's trying to deny causing all the pain??

Chino

#54
January 12, 2012, 05:34:13 AM
Quote from: AndyDT on January 12, 2012, 05:28:59 AM
Why is she telling me she loves me and it was just her hurt? If you love somebody why do you attaack them for hours? it's like she loves an image of me that I'm not living up to and her mind is trying to tell her to face reality which she's trying to deny causing all the pain??

Because she loves the idea of falling in love.

Sir GuitarCozmo

#56
January 12, 2012, 06:13:02 AM
No good will come of this for you.  You will not be able to change her.  This is like the Titanic sinking and you trying to bail it out with a Solo cup.  Not going to work.

AndyDT

#57
January 12, 2012, 06:17:06 AM
Now she won't listen to me when I say we are different and that will damage us both. I've spent every evening this week saying we are different and she wants this evenign as well. I'm thinking I can't allow her to dominate my life like that regardless.

King Postwhore

#58
January 12, 2012, 06:25:33 AM Last Edit: January 12, 2012, 06:43:16 AM by kingshmegland
Relationships are about compromise and it sounds like she has her own mind on how it, the relationship, should go.  I'm with everyone who thinks it's time to move on.
"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'." - Bon Newhart.

chrisbDTM

#59
January 12, 2012, 06:32:59 AM
get out while you still can

Zydar

#60
January 12, 2012, 06:36:32 AM
Get out. Get to the chopper.

AndyDT

#61
January 12, 2012, 06:44:22 AM
How? What should I do ignore her?

RuRoRul

#62
January 12, 2012, 06:45:43 AM
By breaking up with her, is what they mean.

And I agree.

kirksnosehair

#63
January 12, 2012, 06:49:17 AM
Quote from: El Barto on January 10, 2012, 08:50:13 PM
This above all: to thine own self be true.

I can't agree with this more.  If this is supposed to be a serious relationship then based on the posts I've seen from you regarding this particular girlfriend, she's clearly got a lot of baggage and she's trying to get YOU to carry some of it.  Successful relationships begin with mutual respect. 

chrisbDTM

#64
January 12, 2012, 06:52:20 AM
Quote from: AndyDT on January 12, 2012, 06:44:22 AM
How? What should I do ignore her?

we most definitely mean break up with her. end it.
by what youre typing its seems like an awful relationship with no reason to go through such negativity. ignoring certainly wont help, just add to her 'problem' of you not spoiling her enough

ZirconBlue

#65
January 12, 2012, 06:56:00 AM
DTMFA.

MykeHavoc

#66
January 12, 2012, 06:57:37 AM
Ignoring chicks is the lowest thing a guy can do. If you're unhappy, break up. It may be hard, but you'll feel better afterward. This isn't a general rule of thumb. I'm basing this on what you have personally stated. And this is just my opinion. Perhaps you have a stronger thresh hold then me, but I gave up on prolonged miserable relationships a few years back when I realized that they weren't worth the heartache. There's a much more genuine and assured sense of happiness when you're with who you are supposed to be with.

Orbert

#67
January 12, 2012, 06:58:20 AM
Quote from: AndyDT on January 12, 2012, 06:44:22 AM
How? What should I do ignore her?

No, you tell here that you no longer feel that the relationship is working for you, and that you don't want to go out with her any more.  Thus far, everything has been about her.  This final stroke is about you.

Quote from: chrisbDTM on January 12, 2012, 05:35:04 AM
Quote from: FlyingBIZKIT on January 12, 2012, 03:56:39 AM
Quote from: Jirpo on January 12, 2012, 03:49:28 AM
Just end it already man.

YES, YOU BREAK UP WITH HER

chknptpie

#68
January 12, 2012, 06:58:38 AM
You need to be clear and concise that this is the end. You have to tell her you can not be what she wants and you are unhappy.

Orbert

#69
January 12, 2012, 07:00:28 AM
And don't give in.  Do not weaken.  If she cries, or whines that she loves you, or gets angry and hurt because you're doing this to her, stick to your guns.  She did this to herself.  She had a guy who was trying as hard as he could to please her, and all she did was complain that it wasn't enough.  She is the one with the problem.
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