DTF: The Movie

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

lol plot

edit: oh shit.. who will be vlasto??

I don't know, but I imagine he'll show up for no particular reason at random times throughout the movie, a handful of people will lose their shit, and the rest of the extras will all stand around scratching their heads, clueless as to what the big deal is.

[YtseBitsySpider]

ben affleck and I look very similar................but he doesn't do nudes...so not sure that is a good casting choice.

[bout to crash]

Hmm, probably not in that case 

lol plot

edit: oh shit.. who will be vlasto??

I don't know, but I imagine he'll show up for no particular reason at random times throughout the movie, a handful of people will lose their shit, and the rest of the extras will all stand around scratching their heads, clueless as to what the big deal is.

And there was much rejoicing.

[bout to crash]

That reminds me, there should probably be a few Python-esque interludes, animated by Blob.

[Zydar]

haha yeah definitely

[jingle.boy]

That reminds me, there should probably be a few Python-esque interludes, animated by Blob.

With action figuurrrrsss!!!!  And political campaign endorsements.

[Dr. DTVT]

I nominate the ghost of Rodney Dangerfield to play me, because I don't get any respect either.

[Lolzeez]

I nominate Daniel Radcliffe to play me. But he first needs to put on a lil weight.

[Phantasmatron]

I think Vlasto should be an off-screen character who's referred to often but never seen.  He should have some absurdly important role in the plot (that we never see) and then somewhere, near the end of the movie, we'll pull a Wilson-from-Home-Improvement-esque trick where you think you're about to see him, but the camera stops panning over right before he'd show up.

And then we'd have some ridiculously awesome actor voice his single speaking line.  Someone like James Earl Jones.  Or Patrick Stewart.  Or Morgan Freeman.

[jingle.boy]

I think Vlasto should be an off-screen character who's referred to often but never seen.  He should have some absurdly important role in the plot (that we never see) and then somewhere, near the end of the movie, we'll pull a Wilson-from-Home-Improvement-esque trick where you think you're about to see him, but the camera stops panning over right before he'd show up.

And then we'd have some ridiculously awesome actor voice his single speaking line.  Someone like James Earl Jones.  Or Patrick Stewart.  Or Morgan Freeman.

Twist ... Vlasto is female.  I want Ali or Talia to voice her.

[DebraKadabra]

That reminds me, there should probably be a few Python-esque interludes, animated by Blob.

YES.

[Lolzeez]

That reminds me, there should probably be a few Python-esque interludes, animated by Blob.

YES.

We need explosions for no reason

[DebraKadabra]

That too.

[bosk1]

That reminds me, there should probably be a few Python-esque interludes, animated by Blob.

YES.

We need explosions for no reason

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

So it'll be a Michael Bay film, then?

[DebraKadabra]

Oh GAWD I hope not...

[Zydar]

Directed by M Night Shyamalanalanamanylanan.

[DebraKadabra]

 

[MrBoom_shack-a-lack]

We need explosions for no reason

So it'll be a Michael Bay film, then?

YES YES YES

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJxj1mou03M

[Lolzeez]

There must be a bar scene. Anyone wanna play the bartender who is secretly a cyborg ninja?

A cyborg ninja?

Hmmmm...

[JayOctavarium]

[Sketchy]

If Blob needs any help in producing ideas for the interludes, I'd happily delve into the depths of my mind.

After all, I never did manage to get a shot of bishop-ninjas chasing protagonists through a forest on mountain bikes, and when one protagonist is captured, the rest keep on riding like crazy for no apparent reason, other than when they come to a fallen tree, they get off, calmly walk round and then carry on pedalling like mad.

[lonestar]

The Opening Scene.....

(In a quiet, slightly overgrown cemetery, like one found in almost every small town across America- The rain falls gently, magically missing the aging Blob, though he is without an umbrella. Certain class of men, with the Armani suit, short cropped $1000 haircut, and a Bentley in waiting, seem impervious to the rain anyways. The only things hinting at his old, false identity, the one that almost consumed the billionaire jewel thief, were the 3D glasses hanging from his coat pocket, and the tattoo of a tear under one eye with the Majesty symbol in it, a reminder to himself of the many lives destroyed in his pursuit of a passion that could never be satiated. He picks a grave at random, as he does on every year at this time, and silently lays a single rose on it.)

(Voice of Blob in the background, sullen and full of remorse)- Was it worth it? I really don't think I will be able to answer that. Yes, the sale of the Lonestar Diamond to that Saudi Prince did set me up for life, but I was pretty well set anyways before. I did it for the hunt, for the kill, I just never intended for that life to become more real than mine. It was just meant to be a game. Never remembered so many dying in games though, so many that I came to love. The aborigine tribe that raised me never taught me love, they just made sure that the unpalatable white baby the dingo wouldn't eat lived long enough to survive on his own. I had to go in to learn it, and when I did, it died around me. But I am safe, I am set, and that security means absolute dick to me, I am as empty as I was before I stole the Diamond from that asshole chef, who the hell names a stone after himself anyways. It might have all gone OK if that crazy Turkish assassin didn't have eyes on Lonestar's stone for herself, but for Jackie's love, I would have done anything, anything.....


(Fade to a bank robbery in Switzerland, Clinks63 emerges from the tunnel, only his head and hand which holds the illustrious Lonestar Diamond show. In a messy red explosion, his head dissappears, the diamond almost hits the ground, saved by the beefy hand of Hef)

Hef: I love it when the noobs do the hard work, don't you boss?

Bosk: He was a pain in the ass anyways, but quiet as a mouse fart. He served his purpose. Let's go Hef, you know how Jackie gets when she is kept waiting....


Have fun boys....

[ariich]

The great robwebster, portrayed on screen by best-selling singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran.

Sacha Baron Cohen and Ed Sheeran - it's the comedy partnership everyone's been waiting for!

(Also - how on earth did you find that?! No issue with it, just thought it'd disappeared a long time ago.)

I don't even know, I have loads of random DTF crap on my computer, including a bunch of pics of tons of different people from ages ago (most of them probably pre-DTF.org). I tried going through your past posts to find a picture of you BUT THERE WERE NONE. At least, none within 20 pages or so. So I got bored and thought I'd see if there was anything I had already, and voila. I also have one where you look like you're drunkenly singing, but figured I'd save that one for blackmail purposes.

[RoeDent]

This thread is completely and utterly brilliant so far!

*begins composing the soundtrack*

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

Bobcat Goldthwait as clinks63

[CrimsonSunrise]

Directed by M Night Shyamalanalanamanylanan.

And of course starring M Night Shyamalanalanamanylanan.,...cus that's the way he rolls....   This thread has major win 

[bout to crash]

Let's go Hef, you know how Jackie gets when she is kept waiting....

[lonestar]

 

[Kotowboy]

Re: DTF: The Movie

Rob Webster would totally be played by Stephen Fry or Hugh Laurie.

[hefdaddy42]

*gratuitous sex scene involving myself, jackie, vlasto, and a jar of pickles*

[bosk1]

*gratuitous sex scene involving myself, jackie, vlasto, and a jar of pickles*

  THINK OF THE CHILDRENthat are allergic to pickles!!!

[BlobVanDam]

*gratuitous sex scene involving myself, jackie, vlasto, and a jar of pickles*

  THINK OF THE CHILDRENthat are allergic to pickles!!!

What? You want to put children in a sex scene too? You disgust me!

[hefdaddy42]

olol

[Lolzeez]

*gratuitous sex scene involving myself, jackie, vlasto, and a jar of pickles*

  THINK OF THE CHILDRENthat are allergic to pickles!!!

What? You want to put children in a sex scene too? You disgust me!

Needs more Metal Gear characters. (Damn... This is what happens when I dont go to sleep and beat Metal Gear Sold games...) Btw we need a death scene. For who though?