Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip

[Adami]

But - and I didn't always think this way, to my long-term regret - I don't want to be someone that women like. I want to be me, and find a woman that likes me.  Or sisters.

Would you settle for a charming bald Jew?

[Stadler]

But - and I didn't always think this way, to my long-term regret - I don't want to be someone that women like. I want to be me, and find a woman that likes me.  Or sisters.

Would you settle for a charming bald Jew?

Before I remarried, anything was on the table.   

[Ħ]

Stadler, I don't think Wayne would teach you to not be yourself. Just to express yourself differently.

[antigoon]

[axeman90210]

[Skeever]

[Chino]

For all DTFers who like those kind of pics, there's a Facebook group called "Classical Art Memes" that posts gold day in and day out.

[Prog Snob]

I have a date tomorrow. It certainly has been a while. I've known the girl for a long time, but she always had a boyfriend. I haven't seen her in over ten years, except for photos, and she still looks stunning. We have very little in common but we always had a great time together when we hung out and that's what matters to me. The only crux is that we're both exceedingly stubborn people. Between her Russian background and my Sicilian, we've both admitted we feel bad for the person we wind up with. This should be interesting. At least the makeup sex will be intense. 

[TheCountOfNYC]

My friend's ex girlfriend was trying to set me up with this gorgeous babe. She seemed interested in me based on a description of me but then she saw my picture and asked my friend's ex girlfriend "Did he used to date a girl named Summer? He looks familiar."

I got cock-blocked by my ex.

[Adami]

Things are going insanely well with that coworker. We're really into each other.

That said, she's still moving to Arizona right when I get back from Israel, which I leave in 3 weeks. She doesn't want to commit to anything under those conditions.

[Prog Snob]

I started talking to this girl, Jennifer. She's someone who loves to write and I find that exceedingly appealing. She told me she loves my profile so we exchanged messages back and forth on Friday and Saturday. She has three kids and our daughters share the same name. Here is where my paranoia sets in. She hasn't responded since Saturday and I saw that she has been logged in so now I'm worried that I said something wrong. I'm sure she gets a shitload of messages. She's extremely beautiful so I'm sure that sometimes she gets inundated and just doesn't feel like dealing with it. So, my question is this. How long do I wait before sending another message. There's the off-chance that she didn't get my last message, she accidentally deleted it when deleting others, or she doesn't want to seem too anxious. The last thing I asked her was if she was up for it, would she like to talk on the phone. I would think if she wasn't ready for that she would just respond and say that. She seems sincere so I wouldn't expect her to just blatantly ignore me. Considering how much she said she liked my profile and that I'm a writer, too, I don't think she would just toss me aside because I asked if she was up for talking on the phone.

So..how many days do I wait before sending a second message?

[Adami]

6-7.

Chillax brah.

[Prog Snob]

A week? Don't I run the risk of her thinking I have no interest in her at all?

[Adami]

I'm sure sexy women don't worry about guys losing interest.

[Prog Snob]

Okay, then what if someone else makes the next move before I do?

[Nick]

Okay, then what if someone else makes the next move before I do?

If?

Adami already has. I can't believe you didn't see this coming.

[Prog Snob]

Then I hope he gets used to using a colostomy bag for the rest of his life.

[Adami]

Then I hope he gets used to using a colostomy bag for the rest of his life.

All your women are belong to me.


I'm guessing about 400 people made the next move in the time it took you to ask the question. If she goes for one of those losers, why would you even want her?

[Prog Snob]

I bet you're right. She probably has to go through plenty of emails every day but I want to get to her before she sees one she likes better than mine. But I also don't want to seem overbearing. I figured I would wait a couple of more days. At that point if she isn't responding she probably found interest elsewhere and sending another message wouldn't change much, no?

[Adami]

A few days is good, just realize that even if she forgot about you, it's not personal. If you're cool, she'll remember you soon enough.

[Prog Snob]

I'm probably one of the few men that didn't run when they found out she has three kids.

[Prog Snob]

I'm so impatient. I messaged her.

[Prog Snob]

We exchanged numbers. We've been texting back and forth since yesterday. We're trying to squeeze in a phone call later on.

[Stadler]

I started talking to this girl, Jennifer. She's someone who loves to write and I find that exceedingly appealing. She told me she loves my profile so we exchanged messages back and forth on Friday and Saturday. She has three kids and our daughters share the same name. Here is where my paranoia sets in. She hasn't responded since Saturday and I saw that she has been logged in so now I'm worried that I said something wrong. I'm sure she gets a shitload of messages. She's extremely beautiful so I'm sure that sometimes she gets inundated and just doesn't feel like dealing with it. So, my question is this. How long do I wait before sending another message. There's the off-chance that she didn't get my last message, she accidentally deleted it when deleting others, or she doesn't want to seem too anxious. The last thing I asked her was if she was up for it, would she like to talk on the phone. I would think if she wasn't ready for that she would just respond and say that. She seems sincere so I wouldn't expect her to just blatantly ignore me. Considering how much she said she liked my profile and that I'm a writer, too, I don't think she would just toss me aside because I asked if she was up for talking on the phone.

So..how many days do I wait before sending a second message?

Did someone hack into Prog Snob's account?    

This doesn't seem like you.  This isn't brain surgery; this isn't making sure astronauts make it back from space alive.  This isn't a three minute, John Petrucci/Jordan Rudess harmony sequence at 160 beats per minute. 

Maybe I'm too cavalier about this (though my wife, ex-wife, daughter, STEP daughter, and at least two therapists have all accused me of "over thinking things" at various times), but if you feel like sending a message, send a message.   If ONE TEXT is enough to break this, you didn't have anything worthwhile anyway.   

[Prog Snob]

I normally know how to handle these things but I was thinking about taking a different direction. I wound up taking my own advice anyway and it worked out. I'm glad I didn't listen to them.

[Chino]

I find phone conversations with strangers incredibly awkward. I always go straight front text to in person.

[sylvan]

Same here. I'm not entirely against it, but most of the time I can say for certain that there would have been a high likelihood of awkwardness. Of course, if you feel a real connection and communication comes easy, then it could be worthwhile. I've had one phone conversation before a first date and it should have been an eye opener. Not surprisingly the date went exactly as I thought it would, and we never saw each other again.

[Prog Snob]

I'm not against going from texting to meeting, but I'd rather actually talk to someone. You can't get to know someone over text messaging. You can't sense chemistry from that. There's no conversational flow. You're usually doing other things the same time you're texting. At least with a phone conversation you know they are basically just talking to you. You know how they mean things. You can say much more than you can over a text. If you can talk to someone for an hour on the phone with it seeming like five minutes passed then you know you have something. If there's constant silence then there's obviously trouble. Not knowing someone should produce lots to discuss.

[cramx3]

I'm not against going from texting to meeting, but I'd rather actually talk to someone. You can't get to know someone over text messaging. You can't sense chemistry from that. There's no conversational flow. You're usually doing other things the same time you're texting. At least with a phone conversation you know they are basically just talking to you. You know how they mean things. You can say much more than you can over a text. If you can talk to someone for an hour on the phone with it seeming like five minutes passed then you know you have something. If there's constant silence then there's obviously trouble. Not knowing someone should produce lots to discuss.

I think that makes sense.  From my experiences, it was the older ladies that liked to have a phone conversation first.  I personally am fine with the texting and I can figure out the rest in the first meet up, but I understand when someone wants a phone conversation first. 

[Prog Snob]

The girl I'm talking to isn't a fan of the endless back and forth messages without having a real conversation. We were going to talk last night but she fell asleep as she was putting her kids to bed. Totally understandable.

Since I'm a detective when it comes to finding people on the Intrawebzz, I already found her Facebook page. She is a mutual friend with someone I know so I'm curious about that. Obviously I'm not going to tell her I tracked down her Facebook page.   I'll have to play this one smoother.

[cramx3]

The girl I'm talking to isn't a fan of the endless back and forth messages without having a real conversation. We were going to talk last night but she fell asleep as she was putting her kids to bed. Totally understandable.

That's what I would use as my reasoning to meet someone quickly.  Even more real is face to face in person conversation.

[Prog Snob]

We might just wind up meeting for coffee or something if getting a phone call in seems arduous which, like you said, would be even better. She lives one town over from me which is even better.

[Prog Snob]

Well that didn't last long. 

[TheCountOfNYC]

Random thoughts about my romantic endeavors: Sitting here a little buzzed, I'm just thinking about how shitty it is to have social anxiety when you want to meet new people (mainly for romantic reasons). I have no idea how to talk to people and I drive girls away before I can show how nice, down to earth, and real I am. If women could just get past the initial awkwardness that comes with social anxiety, I could show them how good to them I would be, and then maybe I wouldn't be stuck being alone anymore. Because as much as I'm an introvert and a loner, I really miss falling asleep next to somebody.

[Prog Snob]

I empathize with you. I used to be ridiculously shy when I was a teenager. The only way I had a girlfriend was because a friend set me up. I was so fucking shy and anxious that it took two weeks to work up the nerve to kiss her. I'm the total opposite now. I still have anxiety issues and I'm still an introvert but sometimes I feel that veil lift off and I'm able to talk to a random girl with confidence, cracking jokes and whatnot. It's the powder I use for my anxiety. I stopped using pills. The powder is in the coffee family but it works like an opiate, triggering the opiate receptors in the brain. It's magical how much confidence and clarity it brings. It even makes me...friendly. *gasp*