Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip

[cramx3]

Good luck!   You're in NJ. I wonder if I've seen this girl's profile before.

Id say its very possible.  Im not far at all from SI, I think less than 10 miles and she is even closer to SI than me.

[Prog Snob]

Then I have definitely seen her.  I include NJ in my searches since I literally live down the street from the Outerbridge.

[cramx3]

Then I have definitely seen her.  I include NJ in my searches since I literally live down the street from the Outerbridge.

Oh nice, you are very close to me then.  Im right off exit 117 on the parkway.  That crazy girl I ranted a bit about last week probably lives very close to you.  Youd definitely seen her.  Id tell you her name but I dont want competition 

[Prog Snob]

Then I have definitely seen her.  I include NJ in my searches since I literally live down the street from the Outerbridge.

Oh nice, you are very close to me then.  Im right off exit 117 on the parkway.  That crazy girl I ranted a bit about last week probably lives very close to you.  Youd definitely seen her.  Id tell you her name but I dont want competition 

   You can PM it to me if you don't want the general public seeing it.   

Nah, no competition here. I hope to find someone on Staten Island. I just keep NJ in my searches because I live so close.

[cramx3]

Not a bad first date, just went to a bar that she mentioned in chatting she really liked so best to go somewhere in her comfort zone.  Had a couple drinks and just chiiled for a few hours.  She is definitely larger than what she comes off as in her pictures.  Im overweight myself so I dont really hold that as a problem especially if the girl is still cute which she was.  Has a very pretty face and great smile.  We have a lot in common which is really cool and she is really into music which is a huge plus although we have no common bands, but we both appreciated our love for music.  She was giving me the look that she really liked me.  I could be reading it wrong, but she was smiling in a way that I knew she has real interest, like every time our conversation would get to a slow point she would just look me in the eye and give this huge smile to which I would smile back and say what? and she would just blush.  Really cute.  We didnt kiss or anything, I was really tired and it was getting late for me since I wake up at 6am so we hugged on the way out and I think she may have wanted to kiss and while I would have, I just thought it was best to leave that for the next time.  Let her think about it like I am now.

[Prog Snob]

It sounds like it really went well, my friend.  Taking it slow is always good in my book.  I would rather savor the moments than rush into everything in a couple of weeks leaving nothing left to explore.

[cramx3]

It sounds like it really went well, my friend.  Taking it slow is always good in my book.  I would rather savor the moments than rush into everything in a couple of weeks leaving nothing left to explore.

Yea, while its fun to go at it on a first date, its also more rewarding to take time.  Im in no rush anyway.

Edit:  She is coming over to my place tonight.  Going to do dinner and then back to my place to watch a movie. 

[HarlequinForest]

She is coming over to my place tonight.  Going to do dinner and then back to my place to watch a movie. 

Bow chicka wow.

[Chino]

It sounds like it really went well, my friend.  Taking it slow is always good in my book.  I would rather savor the moments than rush into everything in a couple of weeks leaving nothing left to explore.

Yea, while its fun to go at it on a first date, its also more rewarding to take time.  Im in no rush anyway.

Edit:  She is coming over to my place tonight.  Going to do dinner and then back to my place to watch a movie. 

Cook for her. Chicks love dudes that can cook. If you have to get catering and just put it in the oven before she arrives.

[cramx3]

It sounds like it really went well, my friend.  Taking it slow is always good in my book.  I would rather savor the moments than rush into everything in a couple of weeks leaving nothing left to explore.

Yea, while its fun to go at it on a first date, its also more rewarding to take time.  Im in no rush anyway.

Edit:  She is coming over to my place tonight.  Going to do dinner and then back to my place to watch a movie. 

Cook for her. Chicks love dudes that can cook. If you have to get catering and just put it in the oven before she arrives.

Too early to cook for her.  I don't want to spoil her or do something too soon that would be difficult to keep up with if we started seeing each other more often.  Im honestly going to take her somewhere like a chain restaurant close by my house thats nothing special.  If things go well then go to a nicer place and if things get serious then I cook for her.  My younger brother who lives with me cooked for a girl on their first date and I thought he set the bar too high for himself with that, but then again she is still seeing him so who knows.   

Should also add that I am not master in the kitchen, while I have a few dishes I can make well, it is also easier to go somewhere and let her pick what she wants vs. me only giving her a couple options which she may not even like. 

[Chino]

Well, my girl friend paid on our first date, so I'm probably not the most qualified at giving advice 

[cramx3]

Well, my girl friend paid on our first date, so I'm probably not the most qualified at giving advice 

haha good girl! I almost always pay, I feel more like a gentleman that way, but I really appreciate it and like it when the woman offers.  I didnt like how this girl didnt even make a move for her wallet the other night even if it was only a couple drinks, I always thought on a first date the woman should at least offer to pay for herself if nothing else and not expect the guy to pay since in this case was more of a lets meet in person and get to know each other a bit more vs. a serious date.

[Chino]

Well our circumstance was a little unique. We had hit it off on Tinder and text messaging amazingly. We had planned our second date before going on the first one (back to back nights). The first night was just a meet and greet at a bar, the second night was the dinner at a pricier (not super fancy) place. She gave our waitress her credit card when she went to the bathroom, so I never even got the opportunity or option to pay. She figured two things; 1) the following night was going to be expensive, she didn't want me spending all that money on her on the first weekend. 2) We stayed out after the bar, she didn't want me to pay becuse, had the rest of the night gone bad, she didn't want to feel like she owed me anything for the evening. Makes sense to me. I didn't have a problem with it. I've been on a lot of first dates, and never has the girl paid outright. Some have split it, but none had ever picked up the whole check. She scored a lot of points that night. I respected her for doing it, and not only because it saved me $50.

[cramx3]

Wow, thats really nice of her though to think of it like that, looks like you found a good girl then because if her thought mechanics are "I want to pay so if things dont go well I wont feel like I owe you" then she seems very unselfish and has good morals/personality.

[Stadler]

I'm not saying it's a rule or anything, but there's a degree to which none of this stuff matters.   It does, of course (first impressions, and what not) but on one level, regardless of how well the night goes, if she decides to never see you again because you went to Chili's instead of cooking for her, honestly, is that the girl you want? 

The one caveat to that is, I try not to do something out of character UNLESS I know it is special to her.  Meaning, if I never go to a martini bar on my own, when we select places to go, I'm not picking a martini bar UNLESS I know it is her favorite (and we would go there if we were a couple). 

[Prog Snob]

Relationships are about compromise. There is no way you are going to meet someone who likes exactly the same things as you so at some point the both of you will introducing the other to something new. If someone isn't willing to experience who you are in full, then it's time to beg for one more blow job and then break it off with her gently. 

[JayOctavarium]

So much hatred for Valentine's Day.

I disliked it when I was technically with someone...

And I HATE it when I am alone. So many happy couples I've seen today. Just reminds me of how lonely I've been.

[Dark Castle]

I watch hockey, horror movies and drink.

[JayOctavarium]

No interest in Hockey nor Horror Movies.. But will probably have a drink or 6 soon.

[Prog Snob]

I was never a fan of it, even when I was married or dating someone.  Nothing ever gets done on this day that I don't do plenty of during the rest of the year.

[cramx3]

My second date went well Friday night, she spent the night and saturday morning I asked her to be my valentine lol. Her plans fell through for tonight and I never made any so shes coming back over.

I'm not a vday fan and this year worked out well since I didn't have to do anything special and ended up spending the night in with a friend boozin.

[lordxizor]

I think Valentine's Day is worse when you're with someone. There's the expectation that you're supposed to do something. When you're single it's just the same as every other day. Thankfully my wife doesn't really care about it very much. We just exchange cards and maybe get a little candy.

[Prog Snob]

My second date went well Friday night, she spent the night and saturday morning I asked her to be my valentine lol. Her plans fell through for tonight and I never made any so shes coming back over.

I'm not a vday fan and this year worked out well since I didn't have to do anything special and ended up spending the night in with a friend boozin.

That's great!  I'm glad it's going well for you.

[cramx3]

My second date went well Friday night, she spent the night and saturday morning I asked her to be my valentine lol. Her plans fell through for tonight and I never made any so shes coming back over.

I'm not a vday fan and this year worked out well since I didn't have to do anything special and ended up spending the night in with a friend boozin.

That's great!  I'm glad it's going well for you.

Last night was a lot of fun, went to Fridays for happy hour drinks and apps then back to my place.  She wanted to introduce me to Arrested Development on netflix, but by the second episode we were busy and stopped watching.  On a side note, my younger brother who lives in my house has been seeing a girl and took her virginity the other night so my house is turning into quite the love shack. 

[Prog Snob]

My second date went well Friday night, she spent the night and saturday morning I asked her to be my valentine lol. Her plans fell through for tonight and I never made any so shes coming back over.

I'm not a vday fan and this year worked out well since I didn't have to do anything special and ended up spending the night in with a friend boozin.

That's great!  I'm glad it's going well for you.

Last night was a lot of fun, went to Fridays for happy hour drinks and apps then back to my place.  She wanted to introduce me to Arrested Development on netflix, but by the second episode we were busy and stopped watching.  On a side note, my younger brother who lives in my house has been seeing a girl and took her virginity the other night so my house is turning into quite the love shack. 

Maybe I'll bring my next lady there.   

[cramx3]

haha we can have a double okcupid date

and wow the crazy girl who i stopped talking to a few weeks ago wouldnt stop texting and calling me, i finally responded to her. She wants a NSA relationship now, I am considering since she is really cute.  She wants to meet up tomorrow to talk.  I am very hesitant though, she is kind of crazy.

[Chino]

haha we can have a double okcupid date

and wow the crazy girl who i stopped talking to a few weeks ago wouldnt stop texting and calling me, i finally responded to her. She wants a NSA relationship now, I am considering since she is really cute.  She wants to meet up tomorrow to talk.  I am very hesitant though, she is kind of crazy.

Tough call seeing as you are now involved with another girl. Me, personally, I'd stay away from the crazy. No vagina is worth the crazy.

[Prog Snob]

I agree with Chino on this.  Stick with that one girl.  Things are going well so far. No sense in potentially messing that up for someone unstable. You never know what girls like that are capable of. 

[JayOctavarium]

I agree with Chino on this.  Stick with that one girl.  Things are going well so far. No sense in potentially messing that up for someone unstable. You never know what girls like that are capable of. 

So this ^

[JayOctavarium]

lol @ girl who had a huge thing all through high school showing a ton of interest in me again as of late.


Too bad she is like... in Seattle.

And I'm not.

[seltaire]

I've had suitors ... but I've never really be interested in any of them. Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me, my friends think I am a lesbian, but I feel that I was gay, I would know. I wonder if I've just never met the right person yet. Lately, I feel like I'll end up a crazy old dog lady.

[Prog Snob]

I've had suitors ... but I've never really be interested in any of them. Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me, my friends think I am a lesbian, but I feel that I was gay, I would know. I wonder if I've just never met the right person yet. Lately, I feel like I'll end up a crazy old dog lady.

Everyone in this thread thinks there is something wrong with themselves, not excluding myself. It's unfortunately the way society has conditioned us. There is hope though. Just stay true to yourself and someone deserving will come around and appreciate that uniqueness in you.

[Dr. DTVT]

Speak for yourself.  There is nothing wrong with me    I've dated other doctorate holders who said I was too smart for them...and I completely agreed with their assessment.

The further you deviate from average in any aspect of your physical/emotional/intellectual development in either the positive or negative direction, the harder it will be to find people who are like you and more likely compatible.

At least that's my observation.

Look on the bright side Selraire, there are plenty of guys who will fawn over you here if that's what you want.

[cramx3]

I've had suitors ... but I've never really be interested in any of them. Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me, my friends think I am a lesbian, but I feel that I was gay, I would know. I wonder if I've just never met the right person yet. Lately, I feel like I'll end up a crazy old dog lady.

But in reality, there is something wrong with everyone.  No one is perfect.  Its about knowing what is wrong and trying to be better.

For me, I am extremely selfish and even self absorbed.  I know and understand this.  It is something my X brought up a lot, its something I try to be aware of, but it is also something I continue to do. 

So just because something may be wrong does not mean you can't be interested in someone or someone cant be interested in you, but you likely haven't found someone that you can connect with on either an emotional or physical level.

anyway,

I agree with Chino on this.  Stick with that one girl.  Things are going well so far. No sense in potentially messing that up for someone unstable. You never know what girls like that are capable of. 

So this ^

yea... i didnt listen.  I sometimes think with the wrong head.  She is coming over tonight.  I dont know what to think or how to feel about this and a very large part of me knows its a bad idea, but the other part of me is really interested to see what happens.

[Stadler]

I've had suitors ... but I've never really be interested in any of them. Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me, my friends think I am a lesbian, but I feel that I was gay, I would know. I wonder if I've just never met the right person yet. Lately, I feel like I'll end up a crazy old dog lady.

Is that better or worse than being a crazy old cat lady?

I don't know, these things have a way of figuring themselves out.  You can only "think" through hormones and emotions so much.   Unless it is starting to affect your life, I'm not sure I would worry about it too much.  At some point someone (man or woman) is going to say something or do something, and you will take notice and be thinking about it hours (or even days) later, and BOOM! before you know it, you will have proof positive that nothing is "wrong" with you.  You are just you.