Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip

[Prog Snob]

Well..  We've taken our relationship to the next level.  She's got me walking with her not only one lunch (3 quarters of a mile around our little  business complex)  but now also around then county government center (across the street technically,  even though my building is essentially a satellite building for the center)  and that's a good couple miles.  And fucking books it too.  My legs are actually sore. 

She also asked if I'd join her after work to walk as well.  I told her I may start...  But I've gotta work my way back up to that.  Lol. 



And I may be going to another show on Saturday (or to a bowling tournament or both).  Depending on the situation I may see if she wants to come hang out.  It's closer to her house... The only thing is Jenna (panda)  may want to come.  That'd...  Be awkward.

Then you should be forthright about it before it's too late.

[JayOctavarium]

So a few days ago I mentioned to her that my buddy was playing another show..  With his country band tonight.  Nothing else was really said.  Fast forward to today..  Was bowling in a tournament and was gonna  go to the show.  She texted me half way through the tournament and told me she forgot about the show..  And asked if I was going.  I said yea.. I'll be there at 10 after the tourney.  She said cool..  She will come by.  Well let's see if she shows.  It's 11.

[JayOctavarium]

She never showed.  It's ok though.  Still enjoyed myself.. Still kind of a bummer. At least last time it was understandable since the bar was a bit of a drive.  This time the place was pretty much down the street from her house (I don't know where she specifically lives but I do know the part of town.)


Meh

[bout to crash]

How about you invite her to hang out with just you instead of a big public event she doesn't have to commit to?

[cramx3]

How about you invite her to hang out with just you instead of a big public event she doesn't have to commit to?

True, maybe a buddy's concert isn't really something she wants to do.  Worth a shot, grab dinner, see a movie, go for a walk in the park.

Not really a date story, but kind of similar to what has been discussed in this thread about having to put yourself out there.  I went to see 311 alone last weekend.  I saw a nice spot along the guard rail in front of the sound guys dead center of the venue.  I asked the lady standing there if it's cool if I chill in the spot next to her.  She says, that's spot is for her friend who was standing in front of her, but as long as she didn't want to back rest of the rail, I could chill there. We shook hands and proceeded to just enjoy the concert.  A few songs later the three of us are singing and dancing together.  I ended up chilling with the two girls the entire concert.  Had such a blast with two strangers who kind of took me in as their own friend.  Towards the end, the one girl said one of the coolest things to me, "Who are you here with?" she asks and she knew the answer, but before I could say anything she says "You are here with us"    After the concert the girl tells me the bar she works at and that I am welcome to come chill there with her whenever.  Granted this is in Philly so that'll never happen.  We hugged after the concert and went our separate ways.  Point being, sometimes you got to just let loose a bit and let your guard down and you never know what can happen.

As for an actual date, 23yo just left my house.  We hung out for a few hours this afternoon just watching TV.  We were thinking of doing a hike, but the heat is just killer out here.

[JayOctavarium]

How about you invite her to hang out with just you instead of a big public event she doesn't have to commit to?

Well both these events I told her I was going to and she basically said she'd love to come too.  I'm gonna give the other a shot sometime this week.  Just her a and I chilling. 

[bout to crash]

Cram, that's awesome! Sounds like a blast. I met some cute guys at the Motet show who happened to be Steven Wilson fans but we didn't exchange info, they just said they'd see me at the show in November

Jay, I think you should definitely do that- ask her to hang alone. Even if she'd love to go to the show, it's an easy thing to flake on.

[cramx3]

Cram, that's awesome! Sounds like a blast. I met some cute guys at the Motet show who happened to be Steven Wilson fans but we didn't exchange info, they just said they'd see me at the show in November

Jay, I think you should definitely do that- ask her to hang alone. Even if she'd love to go to the show, it's an easy thing to flake on.

Nice! and agreed, a concert at a bar is pretty easy to bail on.  It's also not a good spot to bring someone if you want to chat typically as it'll likely be loud. 

[Stadler]

How about you invite her to hang out with just you instead of a big public event she doesn't have to commit to?

True, maybe a buddy's concert isn't really something she wants to do.  Worth a shot, grab dinner, see a movie, go for a walk in the park.

Not really a date story, but kind of similar to what has been discussed in this thread about having to put yourself out there.  I went to see 311 alone last weekend.  I saw a nice spot along the guard rail in front of the sound guys dead center of the venue.  I asked the lady standing there if it's cool if I chill in the spot next to her.  She says, that's spot is for her friend who was standing in front of her, but as long as she didn't want to back rest of the rail, I could chill there. We shook hands and proceeded to just enjoy the concert.  A few songs later the three of us are singing and dancing together.  I ended up chilling with the two girls the entire concert.  Had such a blast with two strangers who kind of took me in as their own friend.  Towards the end, the one girl said one of the coolest things to me, "Who are you here with?" she asks and she knew the answer, but before I could say anything she says "You are here with us"    After the concert the girl tells me the bar she works at and that I am welcome to come chill there with her whenever.  Granted this is in Philly so that'll never happen.  We hugged after the concert and went our separate ways.  Point being, sometimes you got to just let loose a bit and let your guard down and you never know what can happen.

As for an actual date, 23yo just left my house.  We hung out for a few hours this afternoon just watching TV.  We were thinking of doing a hike, but the heat is just killer out here.

What bar in Philly?

I love those kind of stories.  That happens to me a fair amount (and it's one of the few things I miss now that I'm married; can't always follow the thread where it goes when you're married).

[Stadler]

Maybe I'm more lenient, but I wouldn't at all hold her not showing against her.  If she bailed on YOU, on a planned date, that's a different story, but a general agreement to be where you are going to be anyway whether she's there or not?  I wouldn't.*




* Unless it's chronic, and after you get exclusive, you tell her "THIS BOTHERS ME" and she STILL does it.  Then I would make it an issue.

[cramx3]

What bar in Philly?

I love those kind of stories.  That happens to me a fair amount (and it's one of the few things I miss now that I'm married; can't always follow the thread where it goes when you're married).

Don't remember, being that I don't live near there I didn't bother attempting to actually remember what bar she said or ask her for more info. 

[JayOctavarium]

I asked her face to face if everything was ok and kinda asked why she bailed on Saturday.  She just changed the subject.  Meh.  I'm over it.  I'll chill with her during break at work and text her but that's it. 

[cramx3]

I asked her face to face if everything was ok and kinda asked why she bailed on Saturday.  She just changed the subject.  Meh.  I'm over it.  I'll chill with her during break at work and text her but that's it.

Fuck that.  I'm glad you just approached her and asked though.  Takes balls to ask those types of questions sometimes.

[NunoBadmintoncourt]

Regardless of whether a bar is a good place to meet up or not, she said she would be there, and didn't show. That's a flake for you.

Don't ask her to anything again. There's no need to inflate her ego, and make her feel like she's the only game in town.

[MetalJunkie]

I think a girl at my new job likes me? I'm not sure. Very attractive Mexican girl, just thought I'd point that out. Not that either of those, being Mexican or being attractive, are relevant.

I work a sales position where there's a lot of downtime in the store if there aren't any customers. We contract our cleaning and there are other positions that stock merchandise, so we just chit-chat if it's a slow day. Anyway, [Girl] and I have had a lot of time to talk at the store and, as it turns out, we have a lot in common. We've been getting to know each other a lot better and talking more and more.

This is where it gets a bit sketchy for me. She has a very playful, almost flirtatious, personality type, but it feels like moreso with me than with others. I've made this mistake in the past, so I'm trying not to jump to conclusions or to infer too much. When we're waiting for customers, we generally line up along the wall so whoever's first in line can open the door for the next customer, then we all move up, so on and so forth. When she's in line next to me, she'll come up and lean on me, or she'll stand right beside me and lean her bodyweight on to me in the form of a kind of "push," expecting me to just prop her up or push her back in sort of a rocking motion or what have you. Or sometimes she'll walk past me and give me a small shove. Just little things like that. Earlier today, she doodled my name on my arm with a pen.

I walked into the back and one of the other guys said "So Im thinkin' that [Girl] kinda has a thing for you."
"Yeah, I... Maybe. She's kinda playful with everyone like that, though."
"True, and you're right, but it seems like lately it's more you than anyone else."
Me: shrug

I'm not gonna take too much from it just yet. I'll wait and see how things go.

Oh, almost forgot. A few days ago, she told me in private that she is breaking up with the guy she's been seeing because basically they don't have compatible lifestyles. She wants someone more responsible and closer to her age. Some of the other guys in the store are interested in her, but she made a point to tell me where they wouldn't hear. She didn't want to talk about it in front of any of them.

Update on this. I think. I don't know. Kind of a long read

We've started to develop really good chemistry in the store. We were leaving work the other night and she said we needed to hang out or do a board game night or something. I agreed, and asked her to go the movies with me and another of my co-workers, Jason, who had planned on going in a few days with me. I forgot it was Game of Thrones night, so I had to postpone the movie plan with Jason, but he suggested we do a game night at his house. I told him it sounded good and asked when. The girl, we'll call her Sofia, got excited and said "Tonight!" Well, shit. Okay. I live about a mile from her, so she said she had to go feed her dogs and such, then asked if she could ride with me to Jason's.

So I picked her up and she told me that she "kind of felt bad" because she was supposed to go to some show that the guy she's "kind of dating" was playing at. Or something. Anyway, we got to Jason's house and he introduced us to his wife and we started to have a pretty fun night. We ordered pizza, had just a couple drinks (nothing too crazy) and played Taboo. I should backtrack a bit here, because about three days prior to this night Sofia wore a ponytail to work and I told Jason how ponytails are basically my kryptonite... Anyway, back to Taboo. For those of you unfamiliar with it, you get a word that you have to make your teammate guess by making up clues while avoiding certain other words on that card. My word was "ponytail." My clue to Jason was "I told you a few days ago this is my favorite hairstyle." He guessed it and Sofia looked at me and just said "Really?!"
"Yeah."
"Ponytails?"
"Yeah. Well, not on me. On girls."
This becomes important in a minute, so we'll come back to it. In the meantime, before I left, I got a text from Jason. It was a screenshot of a conversation between him and his wife.

Jason: So lady's opinion, is she into him?
Wife: Yes.

So we played for quite a while, went home, etc. etc. I texted Jason after I left.

Me: Who was that to? Wifey?
Jason: Yes.
Me: A sure-fire way to tell will be if she starts wearing more ponytails.
Me: I did that on purpose.
Jason: You clever fucking bastard.

Sofia was off work the following day, but came back the day after that. Wearing a ponytail.

Later that day she mentioned to me in passing that she thought I was off that day. I'm not so sure I believe her. Maybe I just don't want to. /shrug
All I can do is wait things out, really.

A few updates on us, but really not a whole lot situation-wise has changed.

I posted that I was watching The Little Mermaid on Facebook. The next day she said "I was so bored last night, I almost texted you and said 'I'm on my way over."
My external response: "You should've."
My internal response: HOLY FUCKING SHIT I'M NOT PREPARED FOR IMPROMPTU VISITS I NEED TO GO HOME AND CLEAN AUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHH

I've hung out with her a few more times. A group of us went out to the bar to just have a few drinks and enjoy ourselves. Earlier that day I asked if she was going to church and she said yes, then invited me, so I went to church with her yesterday. Afterwards she asked if I wanted to go to lunch, but I had prior commitments. Then she said she would've gone to the evening service with me, but she had prior commitments. Almost got a whole day with her. Damn.

I still feel like she's throwing signals everywhere. Leaning on me, making a lot of physical contact, doodling on my arm, etc.

That being said, I'm trying to move things forward, but slowly. I'm not ready to come completely out and ask her out specifically as a date, but I'm making sure to make her aware that I want to spend time with her, so hopefully in her mind all the signals she's throwing out (if intentional) aren't a lost cause.

[NunoBadmintoncourt]

I don't know. A woman telling you she was SO bored that she almost came over seems a bit insulting. *Boredom* is what it takes to make her want to
come over? But who knows, it could have just been a poor choice of words on her part.

However, I think you're making a mistake to wait until it feels "safe" to make a move, too. She feels comfortable enough with you to make the physical contact you mentioned. So, at this point, your making a move isn't going to be a big surprise to her (unless she's completely clueless), whether she is receptive to it or not. If you let this play out too long, she will either think you're not interested or you lack confidence.

[MetalJunkie]

I don't know. A woman telling you she was SO bored that she almost came over seems a bit insulting. *Boredom* is what it takes to make her want to
come over?

Not how I took it at all. It was more two separate statements, as if the first part served the purpose of describing her night, instead of describing her cause for wanting to come over. "Timothy, I was so bored last night!" Like I said, she's initiated several hangouts already.

[Prog Snob]

I stopped talking to that girl with whom I was texting. I get bored too easily.

[cramx3]

I don't know. A woman telling you she was SO bored that she almost came over seems a bit insulting. *Boredom* is what it takes to make her want to
come over?

Not how I took it at all. It was more two separate statements, as if the first part served the purpose of describing her night, instead of describing her cause for wanting to come over. "Timothy, I was so bored last night!" Like I said, she's initiated several hangouts already.

I wouldn't take it negatively either, but this girl seems to be doing everything in her power for something more it seems.  I don't think I could take a girl leaning on me and initiating hangouts and NOT make a move on her.  The bodily contact and initiating hang outs, to me, is a huge sign of attraction, unless you are squarely friendzoned which is kind of hard to make out from what you are telling me.  I almost feel like if you don't make a move then that is where you will be.  I don't know, my tolerance is fairly low but I couldn't take all that attraction and not act on it.

I stopped talking to that girl with whom I was texting. I get bored too easily.

Did you ever meet up with her? 

[NunoBadmintoncourt]

I don't know. A woman telling you she was SO bored that she almost came over seems a bit insulting. *Boredom* is what it takes to make her want to
come over?

Not how I took it at all. It was more two separate statements, as if the first part served the purpose of describing her night, instead of describing her cause for wanting to come over. "Timothy, I was so bored last night!" Like I said, she's initiated several hangouts already.

I wouldn't take it negatively either, but this girl seems to be doing everything in her power for something more it seems.  I don't think I could take a girl leaning on me and initiating hangouts and NOT make a move on her.  The bodily contact and initiating hang outs, to me, is a huge sign of attraction, unless you are squarely friendzoned which is kind of hard to make out from what you are telling me.  I almost feel like if you don't make a move then that is where you will be.  I don't know, my tolerance is fairly low but I couldn't take all that attraction and not act on it.

Yes, she certainly could be at a point where she only sees him as a friend, and makes the physical contact because it feels safe to do so, but if she was doing it early on, there was probably some intent behind it. But I would definitely make the next time seeing her all about making a move, and having an answer once and for all.

[Stadler]

I don't know. A woman telling you she was SO bored that she almost came over seems a bit insulting. *Boredom* is what it takes to make her want to
come over? But who knows, it could have just been a poor choice of words on her part.

However, I think you're making a mistake to wait until it feels "safe" to make a move, too. She feels comfortable enough with you to make the physical contact you mentioned. So, at this point, your making a move isn't going to be a big surprise to her (unless she's completely clueless), whether she is receptive to it or not. If you let this play out too long, she will either think you're not interested or you lack confidence.

Well, you were down oh-and-two in the count (I think you were too harsh on the "flake" above, and the "bored thing").  If that's the way she cracks the ice, so be it.  I think the going to church thing - maybe it's me, but that is intensely personal - gives lie to the idea that she was ONLY bored and she could have gone to see anyone.    But you came through with a clutch base hit on the last part.   

I would made the move - the signals are about as clear as a bell - but I would make it subtle and articulate.  Don't ask her on a fancy date that is way out of the norm, or ask her something awkward, like being your plus one at a family wedding.  Do something that is an extension of what you've done so far but one-on-one and with no room for misinterpretation.  Then the hard part:  just be yourself.  Be the guy you've been in every encounter so far. 

[JayOctavarium]

I actually detected a hint of jealousy from work girl yesterday.  I had mentioned in a text about being slightly nervous to drive home after getting rear-ended on my way to work yesterday.  She responded with "Why don't you ask that girl you're talking to for a ride home then??"

I guess she drove by in the parking lot as I was talking to another coworker...  Who witnessed the accident that morning..  About the accident.  And then she started asking if I had a thing for this coworker I was talking to. 

[NunoBadmintoncourt]

I don't know. A woman telling you she was SO bored that she almost came over seems a bit insulting. *Boredom* is what it takes to make her want to
come over? But who knows, it could have just been a poor choice of words on her part.

However, I think you're making a mistake to wait until it feels "safe" to make a move, too. She feels comfortable enough with you to make the physical contact you mentioned. So, at this point, your making a move isn't going to be a big surprise to her (unless she's completely clueless), whether she is receptive to it or not. If you let this play out too long, she will either think you're not interested or you lack confidence.

Well, you were down oh-and-two in the count (I think you were too harsh on the "flake" above, and the "bored thing").  If that's the way she cracks the ice, so be it.  I think the going to church thing - maybe it's me, but that is intensely personal - gives lie to the idea that she was ONLY bored and she could have gone to see anyone.    But you came through with a clutch base hit on the last part.   

I would made the move - the signals are about as clear as a bell - but I would make it subtle and articulate.  Don't ask her on a fancy date that is way out of the norm, or ask her something awkward, like being your plus one at a family wedding.  Do something that is an extension of what you've done so far but one-on-one and with no room for misinterpretation.  Then the hard part:  just be yourself.  Be the guy you've been in every encounter so far.

Well, she said "I was so bored last night, I almost texted you and said 'I'm on my way over." Phrasing it that way made it seem like it would have been an act of desperation, as if to to say "you wanna know just *how* bored I got?? I almost contacted you!" That may not have been her intention, considering he said she had initiated getting together before, but I can easily envision someone interpreting it that way, especially via text.

As for the flake, she actually said she would be at the gig, unlike the other occasion before it. She didn't even bother to notify him and let him know she wasn't going to show. I didn't suggest he chew her out, but ask her out again? I wouldn't bother after that kind of disrespect.

[Adami]

I actually detected a hint of jealousy from work girl yesterday.  I had mentioned in a text about being slightly nervous to drive home after getting rear-ended on my way to work yesterday.  She responded with "Why don't you ask that girl you're talking to for a ride home then??"

I guess she drove by in the parking lot as I was talking to another coworker...  Who witnessed the accident that morning..  About the accident.  And then she started asking if I had a thing for this coworker I was talking to.

Sounds like the basis for a strong, healthy relationship.


I didn't need to make that green, did I?

[JayOctavarium]

I actually detected a hint of jealousy from work girl yesterday.  I had mentioned in a text about being slightly nervous to drive home after getting rear-ended on my way to work yesterday.  She responded with "Why don't you ask that girl you're talking to for a ride home then??"

I guess she drove by in the parking lot as I was talking to another coworker...  Who witnessed the accident that morning..  About the accident.  And then she started asking if I had a thing for this coworker I was talking to.

Sounds like the basis for a strong, healthy relationship.


I didn't need to make that green, did I?

Wait...

[Stadler]

Well, she said "I was so bored last night, I almost texted you and said 'I'm on my way over." Phrasing it that way made it seem like it would have been an act of desperation, as if to to say "you wanna know just *how* bored I got?? I almost contacted you!" That may not have been her intention, considering he said she had initiated getting together before, but I can easily envision someone interpreting it that way, especially via text.

As for the flake, she actually said she would be at the gig, unlike the other occasion before it. She didn't even bother to notify him and let him know she wasn't going to show. I didn't suggest he chew her out, but ask her out again? I wouldn't bother after that kind of disrespect.

Look, we're simply at a level of disagreement that won't be resolved.  It's all our way of looking at the world.   It is rare that I ever get offended, and I rarely look at things as if I am the victim.   I'm not saying I'm better, I'm just saying that you can look at every little thing and think "how am I getting fucked over in this deal?" or you can look at every little thing and think, "what are the various ways in which this can be interpreted, and how can I give that other person the benefit of the doubt without totally compromising my principles." 

I mean no offense, but if "no return text" is all it takes to get someone "disrespected", they weren't commanding a lot of respect in the first place, and I think the rest of the story gives lie to that.

As for Jay, and the jealously, you have lemons.  MAKE SOME VODKA LEMONADE, BRO!   It doesn't have to be a great line - in fact, maybe the worse the better, unless "cool" is your gig - but you need to act NOW!    "No, I don't have a thing for that girl; I was asking her about you!"  or "I'd rather as YOU for a ride home" or...  you're a big boy, you can figure it out.   But if you need any more signals, then you need your radar fixed. 

My two cents, and if you fall on your face, remember, I'm just some tool from the internet.  

[bout to crash]

I actually detected a hint of jealousy from work girl yesterday.  I had mentioned in a text about being slightly nervous to drive home after getting rear-ended on my way to work yesterday.  She responded with "Why don't you ask that girl you're talking to for a ride home then??"

I guess she drove by in the parking lot as I was talking to another coworker...  Who witnessed the accident that morning..  About the accident.  And then she started asking if I had a thing for this coworker I was talking to.

Sounds like the basis for a strong, healthy relationship.


I didn't need to make that green, did I?

Jay, that is a bit weird. You're not even dating and she's saying shit like that? Well, she obviously likes you but she already sounds like drama.

[Stadler]

I actually detected a hint of jealousy from work girl yesterday.  I had mentioned in a text about being slightly nervous to drive home after getting rear-ended on my way to work yesterday.  She responded with "Why don't you ask that girl you're talking to for a ride home then??"

I guess she drove by in the parking lot as I was talking to another coworker...  Who witnessed the accident that morning..  About the accident.  And then she started asking if I had a thing for this coworker I was talking to.

Sounds like the basis for a strong, healthy relationship.


I didn't need to make that green, did I?

Jay, that is a bit weird. You're not even dating and she's saying shit like that? Well, she obviously likes you but she already sounds like drama.

Or, she's thinking "this fucking idiot can't take the hint; I have to let him know I'm interested in my quirky fucked up way".  I mean, not literally that thought, but this entire thread is a bunch of shy, awkward poor communicators - myself included - and we're put out/confused by people that are shy, awkward poor communicators?   

I'm not there, so I don't know for certain, but I think a more chill approach - a little less "tree", a lot more "forest" - we might see a little different outcome. 

Though "drama" is always a realistic possibility. 

[sylvan]

I'm a super avid proponent of the "making a move before it's too late" mindset. If we're talking about a situation like Jay's, where there is friendly interaction before any sort of romantic/dating based interaction, it's important to pull the trigger at the right time. The idea that it's too early is out the window. Asking her to join you for casual events and friendly gatherings is a good start. But, eventually, you're gonna have to indicate that you want more if you actually DO want more.

I'm with Stadler though, cuz I think her jealousy is an indicator. Yeah, she flaked on the casual stuff. No big deal. Sure it's confusing with the perceived jealousy, but as was said, some people are just bad at communicating. Ultimately though, if you wanna try for more than friends, NOW IS THE TIME to take that chance. Think casually about it, and just ask her to dinner/drinks/whatever.

[cramx3]

I think we are not talking about the fact that Jay also still has a sticky situation with his current or x gf?  I honestly have no idea what thats about but I believe he said this girl knows about it.  That alone could be the reason why she is showing mixed signals.  If I were in her shoes I dont think I'd enter a situation that was questionable like that.  Granted, I also don't know the story.

[Stadler]

I didn't know there was backstory either; everything I said is sort of incumbent on Jay being up front and saying "I'll try my best not to get any mud on your slacks". 

So to speak. 

[JayOctavarium]

I think we are not talking about the fact that Jay also still has a sticky situation with his current or x gf?  I honestly have no idea what thats about but I believe he said this girl knows about it.  That alone could be the reason why she is showing mixed signals.  If I were in her shoes I dont think I'd enter a situation that was questionable like that.  Granted, I also don't know the story.

Panda and I live together. We do things together. We hang out. We eat together. We cuddle at times on the couch. Hell there is even sex involved sometimes. I would love to have my relationship back. We make attempts but they usually end in flames. We (well according to her, me more than her) are also financially dependent on eachother. Anyone who looks at us from the outside would say "oh they're dating". But she makes a HUGE point to point out to everyone that we are not a couple. We haven't been together in a year and a half.  Hell, she's even gone on a few dates. She's got guys who she "talks" to.  There is a lot more to the story but.. yea.

And I was completely honest with this girl when we started hanging out. She knows the situation. (I am not going to put myself in a situation where my home life becomes a surprise).

She actually went a few days without talking to me. Made shit awkward.. Especially since she spent all that time blowing up my phone. That actually reminds me I have something I have to do tomorrow I was supposed to do today and yesterday but put it off because it would cause me to have to walk by her desk. Lol

She's kinda coming back around and texting me.. even though I didn't physically see her today (well I did... but I dont think she saw me...)

[cramx3]

Thanks for explaining, and I definitely think it's good that the girl knows what's up (I find that girls really appreciate honesty, and it's also a good thing to be honest), but at the same time, sad to say, I can easily see how a girl would not be interested in a relationship with someone in that situation, I guess I could see something casual though a girl showing signs of jealously might not be the casual type. 

[Stadler]

Thanks for explaining, and I definitely think it's good that the girl knows what's up (I find that girls really appreciate honesty, and it's also a good thing to be honest), but at the same time, sad to say, I can easily see how a girl would not be interested in a relationship with someone in that situation, I guess I could see something casual though a girl showing signs of jealously might not be the casual type.

To each their own; I truly believe that there is someone for everyone (hell, even Jeff the Vomit Guy has a shot at finding someone) but I've got to believe that cuts down the odds some.   

[DebraKadabra]

Jay, that is a bit weird. You're not even dating and she's saying shit like that? Well, she obviously likes you but she already sounds like drama.

Sorry Jay - I have to agree with Jackie here. For her to get fake jealous when she has no reason to even be real jealous? BIG red flag. That and... I know you and P seem to be "financially dependent" but if you're just roommates, GTFO of there ASAP. That ambiguity would kill me.