Things I find a tad exasperating v.3

[Zydar]

I hate both time changes with a purple passion.

We should just get rid of one.  I don't really care which one, but just every year shoot ahead another hour (or behind, as the case may be).  When I retire, it'll be full sun at midnight! 

Can't we just get rid of both. Everyone chooses their own personal daylight savings time and hilarity will ensue.

[Lonk]

I hate both time changes with a purple passion.

We should just get rid of one.  I don't really care which one, but just every year shoot ahead another hour (or behind, as the case may be).  When I retire, it'll be full sun at midnight! 

Can't we just get rid of both. Everyone chooses their own personal daylight savings time and hilarity will ensue.

Why stop there? Let people decide when the weekend starts and ends! LET ME HAVE A CHOICE

[hefdaddy42]

I hate both time changes with a purple passion.

We should just get rid of one.  I don't really care which one, but just every year shoot ahead another hour (or behind, as the case may be).  When I retire, it'll be full sun at midnight! 

[Metro]

I've seen people riding dirt bikes and ATVs around the city lately. I have a Dashcam on my car and I got footage of one idiot wiping out earlier

https://youtu.be/j8UkNBOvouU?si=ZY87vf9LUZclksOi

[TAC]

Wow! That's hilarious! What city is that?

[Metro]

Richmond, VA

[TAC]

Driven through Richmond a ton of times. Never stopped, but on one trip home we stayed just north, probably in the city limits.

[Metro]

Yeah it's a drive-through city. Not much reason to stop here 

[TAC]

Yeah it's a drive-through city. Not much reason to stop here 

We drove to Florida at least 30 times, and I always felt like once I got through Richmond, I could finally relax a bit. Also, about 10 miles south on 95, there's an interchange that I always thought looked exactly like the Systematic Chaos album cover.

[King Postwhore]

Driven through Richmond a ton of times. Never stopped, but on one trip home we stayed just north, probably in the city limits.

Had a conference there I think 5 years ago.

[Lonk]

I've seen people riding dirt bikes and ATVs around the city lately. I have a Dashcam on my car and I got footage of one idiot wiping out earlier

https://youtu.be/j8UkNBOvouU?si=ZY87vf9LUZclksOi

Love it.

I don't like wishing for people to get hurt, but I seen way too many of these people with no regards for traffic or pedestrians.

[Stadler]

Driven through Richmond a ton of times. Never stopped, but on one trip home we stayed just north, probably in the city limits.

Same, although my first kiss lives just outside Richmond now.

[Skeever]

Today during a meeting, the presenter shared their own screen for about 5 seconds, and I saw clearly that they we're making fun of me and my body language on the call in their private messager. I honestly have no idea what they were talking about, I was just surprised by the unprofessionalism. Are we back in middle school, virtually passing notes to each other to giggle at the people who are actually trying to engage in the conversation? I keep telling myself that I'm not mad about it, but I clearly am, and expected one of those people to be a man and own up to it afterwards. But of course, they did not. I saw one of them in the hall and they scurried off afraid to even make eye contact.

[TAC]

Today during a meeting, the presenter shared their own screen for about 5 seconds, and I saw clearly that they we're making fun of me and my body language on the call in their private messager. I honestly have no idea what they were talking about, I was just surprised by the unprofessionalism. Are we back in middle school, virtually passing notes to each other to giggle at the people who are actually trying to engage in the conversation? I keep telling myself that I'm not mad about it, but I clearly am, and expected one of those people to be a man and own up to it afterwards. But of course, they did not. I saw one of them in the hall and they scurried off afraid to even make eye contact.

Is the presentation backed up somewhere. Can you screenshot it and make their life hell?

[Skeever]

Today during a meeting, the presenter shared their own screen for about 5 seconds, and I saw clearly that they we're making fun of me and my body language on the call in their private messager. I honestly have no idea what they were talking about, I was just surprised by the unprofessionalism. Are we back in middle school, virtually passing notes to each other to giggle at the people who are actually trying to engage in the conversation? I keep telling myself that I'm not mad about it, but I clearly am, and expected one of those people to be a man and own up to it afterwards. But of course, they did not. I saw one of them in the hall and they scurried off afraid to even make eye contact.

Is the presentation backed up somewhere. Can you screenshot it and make their life hell?

HR definitely have the backup, and can easily verify any claims I would make about what they said if I wanted to go that route.

But IDK. It was teasing, moreso than anything really cruel. I've got to think carefully if I want to go that route. Typically, I don't expect much from HR, but also complaining so soon at a new gig could backfire pretty badly on how the rest of my time here works out. I'm relatively new, and these are frankly people I've got to win over if I'm going to be successful here. Complaining won't make that go away. It'll just make it harder.

[TAC]

Today during a meeting, the presenter shared their own screen for about 5 seconds, and I saw clearly that they we're making fun of me and my body language on the call in their private messager. I honestly have no idea what they were talking about, I was just surprised by the unprofessionalism. Are we back in middle school, virtually passing notes to each other to giggle at the people who are actually trying to engage in the conversation? I keep telling myself that I'm not mad about it, but I clearly am, and expected one of those people to be a man and own up to it afterwards. But of course, they did not. I saw one of them in the hall and they scurried off afraid to even make eye contact.

Is the presentation backed up somewhere. Can you screenshot it and make their life hell?

HR definitely have the backup, and can easily verify any claims I would make about what they said if I wanted to go that route.

But IDK. It was teasing, moreso than anything really cruel. I've got to think carefully if I want to go that route. Typically, I don't expect much from HR, but also complaining so soon at a new gig could backfire pretty badly on how the rest of my time here works out.

Well, there's nothing wrong with going to HR and simply telling them that you want it noted, so at least there's a record in case the "harassment" continues. They don't need to address the other associate, but you do want it logged.

People are fucking assholes.

[wolfking]

Today during a meeting, the presenter shared their own screen for about 5 seconds, and I saw clearly that they we're making fun of me and my body language on the call in their private messager. I honestly have no idea what they were talking about, I was just surprised by the unprofessionalism. Are we back in middle school, virtually passing notes to each other to giggle at the people who are actually trying to engage in the conversation? I keep telling myself that I'm not mad about it, but I clearly am, and expected one of those people to be a man and own up to it afterwards. But of course, they did not. I saw one of them in the hall and they scurried off afraid to even make eye contact.

Is the presentation backed up somewhere. Can you screenshot it and make their life hell?

HR definitely have the backup, and can easily verify any claims I would make about what they said if I wanted to go that route.

But IDK. It was teasing, moreso than anything really cruel. I've got to think carefully if I want to go that route. Typically, I don't expect much from HR, but also complaining so soon at a new gig could backfire pretty badly on how the rest of my time here works out.

Well, there's nothing wrong with going to HR and simply telling them that you want it noted, so at least there's a record in case the "harassment" continues. They don't need to address the other associate, but you do want it logged.

People are fucking assholes.

Yep, agree.  I think some form of documentation is smart.  I'm not sure if you can just go to HR and just make a file note of it without putting in an official complaint?  At least that way, if things escalate or turns to some sort of bullying, you've made the steps to document strange behaviors already, which may keep you on the front foot.  Plus, with meetings like that on record these days, the evidence is there.  You're probably better off even waiting to see if anything else happens then your argument has more weight. You are right, just going for this one small thing will be hard for them to really do anything, or want to do anything from my vast experiences.

I understand not wanting to rock the boat if you are new there but man, people are pricks and you shouldn't have to start a new job and cop that sort of shit and be angry about it, that's not on.  Of course you want to win people over and get respect, but childish people like that sometimes don't deserve your time and respect, but I know you're hands are probably tied there.

[Skeever]

Sadly that's the shit I don't trust our HR with at all. I've made complaints before, many years ago, in a different dept, and it came back to me.

But I do trust my direct supervisor, and we'll figure something out. Some of their comments I saw were not so respectful to her, either, and she'll be straight about how we navigate this without shooting ourselves in the foot.

[wolfking]

Sadly that's the shit I don't trust our HR with at all. I've made complaints before, many years ago, in a different dept, and it came back to me.

But I do trust my direct supervisor, and we'll figure something out. Some of their comments I saw were not so respectful to her, either, and she'll be straight about how we navigate this without shooting ourselves in the foot.

Ah, so you're new role is still in the same organization.  That makes it tricky if you've had association with the HR department before. 

Was she in this meeting also if they were talking shit about her?  Maybe first point of call is just have a casual convo with her.  Even documenting it with her (and still documenting yourself) would be enough in this first instance and then if they continue being fuckwits, you've addressed it with your direct supervisor if you and her do take it higher.  That might actually be the safest route in this early instance. 

[lordxizor]

I think involving HR is a bit over the top. They weren't meant to be comments to Skeever directly, but were accidentally shared. None of you have ever badmouthed or complained about someone on a private chat before? If it becomes clear these people are treating him poorly or elevating their comments to something more direct, then going to the supervisor first makes sense. Involving HR is only going to poison these people against him. My opinion is to let this one roll off and only elevate it if it continues. And honestly, if it were me, I'd set aside my feelings for a second and see if there is something to learn or grow from their comments.

[TheHoveringSojourn808]

seems like he's already learned quite enough from it. he's learned that particular coworker is a douchenozzle

[Stadler]

seems like he's already learned quite enough from it. he's learned that particular coworker is a douchenozzle

Not taking sides here, but I think Lordxizor was - rightly - calling for a measure of INTERNAL learning.  Whether that employee is a "douchenozzle" or not is up to Skeever to say (we don't know what the comments were).   

This is a WORK environment and I have a bit of an old school way of looking at things:  I'm not entitled to love and compassion from my coworkers.  I'm only entitled to a modicum of general personal respect in a public setting.  If someone wants to write/talk about me behind my back, so be it.  It's a free country, and I can't stop them; I can only do my job to the best of my ability and hope my boss, my bosses boss, and HER boss like what I do.  If I saw someone wrote "Look at that faggot cocksucker Stadler; mouthing off, talking over people, picking his nose... fuck him I'm not listening to a word he says.", that person is wrong for a number of things - "faggot" is inappropriate on every level, I've never actually sucked a cock (not that there's anything wrong with it), and internal chats are NOT protected or private (they are legally discoverable in a litigation, for example, and most organizations have policies that treat chats like emails) - but I may learn from the other points.  Maybe I was justified in talking over them, maybe I wasn't.  EVERY data point is a chance to learn.

I would, though, have the conversation with my boss.

[TAC]

I hear ya Stads. To me, it's much less about reporting the person as much as it is wanting to have it documented. This isn't me walking into the lunchroom, and someone saying, geez, Tim's an asshole, as I am walking in. This is on a company sponsored presentation and by the slip up, it becomes a public proclamation, no?

I have a thick skin, and there's been plenty of people that I've worked with that don't like me. Walking in on a conversation in the lunchroom would roll off my back, but a posting on the lunchroom bulletin board would not sit well.

[WilliamMunny]

I hear ya Stads. To me, it's much less about reporting the person as much as it is wanting to have it documented. This isn't me walking into the lunchroom, and someone saying, geez, Tim's an asshole, as I am walking in. This is on a company sponsored presentation and by the slip up, it becomes a public proclamation, no?

I have a thick skin, and there's been plenty of people that I've worked with that don't like me. Walking in on a conversation in the lunchroom would roll off my back, but a posting on the lunchroom bulletin board would not sit well.

This is a fair point–a co-worker's lack of professionalism in any sort of public environment puts everyone's livelihood at risk.

It never ceases to amaze me how much the 'high-school' element tends to permeate work places. The majority of us just want to go in, do our thing, and go home to our family. But for a certain percentage of the working public, regardless of the place, high-school never ended.

[Stadler]

Not really "exasperating" but nowhere else to put this... the ridiculous level of copycat/piggy-backing in commercials.   

First, every commercial now has to put their brand into a "verb".   "This is how you GEICO!" WTF?   I'm not "GEICO-ing" anything. I might BUY car insurance, but I'm certainly not "Nationwide-ing" anything.   I heard like three different variations on that last night alone; I'm pretty sure I was told that "this is how you VERIZON", though I can't remember what brands exactly did this.  To me it just smacks of trying too hard to create the next "viral thing".  But speaking of Verizon....

The use of the specific phrase "on us" from the cell phone companies.  What is the significance of the terminology "on us"?  No doubt some sociology major did a study and it has an outsize impact over other, better, more descriptive words like "free" and "at no extra charge!", which have worked for CENTURIES... but Verizon, T-mobile AND AT&T are all using that exact phraseology "on us" to note the price of the new iPhone 76 (with TITANIUM!) or whatever the Samsung product is. 

[Stadler]

I hear ya Stads. To me, it's much less about reporting the person as much as it is wanting to have it documented. This isn't me walking into the lunchroom, and someone saying, geez, Tim's an asshole, as I am walking in. This is on a company sponsored presentation and by the slip up, it becomes a public proclamation, no?

I have a thick skin, and there's been plenty of people that I've worked with that don't like me. Walking in on a conversation in the lunchroom would roll off my back, but a posting on the lunchroom bulletin board would not sit well.

I took it as happening slightly differently.  If this was in a formal presentation, then my answer does not apply.  I read it as the presenter was sharing his/her screen and INADVERTENTLY his/her instant message app was shown with the offending language.

Now, legally, the instant message app is NOT private, and I tell my coworkers that all the time.  But I didn't get that this was intended to be public, it was just "overheard" (metaphorically) and so much more like your water cooler/break room analogy.  Skeever can correct me if I'm wrong.

[TAC]

The use of the specific phrase "on us" from the cell phone companies.  What is the significance of the terminology "on us"?  No doubt some sociology major did a study and it has an outsize impact over other, better, more descriptive words like "free" and "at no extra charge!", which have worked for CENTURIES... but Verizon, T-mobile AND AT&T are all using that exact phraseology "on us" to note the price of the new iPhone 76 (with TITANIUM!) or whatever the Samsung product is.

Exactly. maybe not a sociology major, but sure, it's a way to make the consumer think the company is doing something for them. But as always, if you want to Geico, we'll still find a way to fuck you...on us.

[lordxizor]

I hear ya Stads. To me, it's much less about reporting the person as much as it is wanting to have it documented. This isn't me walking into the lunchroom, and someone saying, geez, Tim's an asshole, as I am walking in. This is on a company sponsored presentation and by the slip up, it becomes a public proclamation, no?

I have a thick skin, and there's been plenty of people that I've worked with that don't like me. Walking in on a conversation in the lunchroom would roll off my back, but a posting on the lunchroom bulletin board would not sit well.

I took it as happening slightly differently.  If this was in a formal presentation, then my answer does not apply.  I read it as the presenter was sharing his/her screen and INADVERTENTLY his/her instant message app was shown with the offending language.

Now, legally, the instant message app is NOT private, and I tell my coworkers that all the time.  But I didn't get that this was intended to be public, it was just "overheard" (metaphorically) and so much more like your water cooler/break room analogy.  Skeever can correct me if I'm wrong.

t's also not "on them". The customers are paying for it. It's just built into the monthly cost.

[TAC]

I hear ya Stads. To me, it's much less about reporting the person as much as it is wanting to have it documented. This isn't me walking into the lunchroom, and someone saying, geez, Tim's an asshole, as I am walking in. This is on a company sponsored presentation and by the slip up, it becomes a public proclamation, no?

I have a thick skin, and there's been plenty of people that I've worked with that don't like me. Walking in on a conversation in the lunchroom would roll off my back, but a posting on the lunchroom bulletin board would not sit well.

I took it as happening slightly differently.  If this was in a formal presentation, then my answer does not apply.  I read it as the presenter was sharing his/her screen and INADVERTENTLY his/her instant message app was shown with the offending language.

Now, legally, the instant message app is NOT private, and I tell my coworkers that all the time.  But I didn't get that this was intended to be public, it was just "overheard" (metaphorically) and so much more like your water cooler/break room analogy.  Skeever can correct me if I'm wrong.

I'm not up on exactly what's legal or not, but the message did not just go to its intended recipients, it went to all participants.

I can say something sexist to a trusted co-worker, but all I need is to someone to overhear me for me to get in trouble.


Yeah, maybe I should reread what the exact circumstances were.

[Stadler]

I

I hear ya Stads. To me, it's much less about reporting the person as much as it is wanting to have it documented. This isn't me walking into the lunchroom, and someone saying, geez, Tim's an asshole, as I am walking in. This is on a company sponsored presentation and by the slip up, it becomes a public proclamation, no?

I have a thick skin, and there's been plenty of people that I've worked with that don't like me. Walking in on a conversation in the lunchroom would roll off my back, but a posting on the lunchroom bulletin board would not sit well.

I took it as happening slightly differently.  If this was in a formal presentation, then my answer does not apply.  I read it as the presenter was sharing his/her screen and INADVERTENTLY his/her instant message app was shown with the offending language.

Now, legally, the instant message app is NOT private, and I tell my coworkers that all the time.  But I didn't get that this was intended to be public, it was just "overheard" (metaphorically) and so much more like your water cooler/break room analogy.  Skeever can correct me if I'm wrong.

t's also not "on them". The customers are paying for it. It's just built into the monthly cost.

Well, there's that too; nothing is EVER free, it's just how well the actual cost is concealed.  But it always bothers me - "bothers" isn't the right word; it's more idle curious fascination - when specific phrases and terminologies become pervasive, because in certain circles - and advertising is most definitely one of them - time is money, and no word goes unscrutinized.   Maybe it was working at GE during the dot-com boom, but I've become very sensitive to language in that way.   I've noted other examples as well in P/R ("terrified", "unhinged", there are more...).  It's NOT a coincidence, and it's NOT a mistake.

[lordxizor]

seems like he's already learned quite enough from it. he's learned that particular coworker is a douchenozzle

I had a boss once who was a huge asshole. He berated me in front of a couple coworkers once and I was pissed as hell at him, wanted to quit, etc. He was absolutely 100% wrong in the way that he gave me negative feedback. But some of what he said was correct. Had I not been able to step away from my negative feelings about him being an asshole, I would have continued my career doing a disservice to myself through the way I was working. I am now actually thankful that situation happened. Yes, he should have sat me down privately and coached me on how to work better, but I got what I got.

[TAC]

seems like he's already learned quite enough from it. he's learned that particular coworker is a douchenozzle

I had a boss once who was a huge asshole. He berated me in front of a couple coworkers once and I was pissed as he'll at him, wanted rmto quit, etc. He was absolutely 100% wrong in the way that he gave me negative feedback. But some of what he said was correct. Had a not been able to step away from my negative feelings about him being an asshole, I would have continued my career doing a disservice to myself through the way I was working. I am now actually thankful that situation happened. Yes, he should have sat me down privately and coached me on how to work better, but I got what I got.

I'm fascinated by Management and Management techniques.

I used to tell people that were having trouble with their supervisors to listen to the message, and not how it was delivered. I also had to remind people that their supervisors just might be an asshole.

[lordxizor]

seems like he's already learned quite enough from it. he's learned that particular coworker is a douchenozzle

I had a boss once who was a huge asshole. He berated me in front of a couple coworkers once and I was pissed as he'll at him, wanted rmto quit, etc. He was absolutely 100% wrong in the way that he gave me negative feedback. But some of what he said was correct. Had a not been able to step away from my negative feelings about him being an asshole, I would have continued my career doing a disservice to myself through the way I was working. I am now actually thankful that situation happened. Yes, he should have sat me down privately and coached me on how to work better, but I got what I got.

I'm fascinated by Management and Management techniques.

I used to tell people that were having trouble with their supervisors to listen to the message, and not how it was delivered. I also had to remind people that their supervisors just might be an asshole.

I think that's a good philosophy to listen to the message not the delivery method. But yes, some people are just assholes.

[Skeever]

I think the thing that bugs me isn't the message, but the delivery. For sure.

Getting a DM like "you look distracted, are you having trouble focusing on this?" or "you look confused, let's talk afterwards" would have been fine with me, and often given some feedback. But to see someone's Teams chat say "Skeever's body language looks HILARIOUS" was a bit much. Also, not incredibly useful. Was I doing something distasteful? Did I look funny when I kept looking to OneNote on the other monitor to write something down? BTW, one of these guys decided to leave their camera off, so there's a peanut-gallery element to it. It makes me respect the person making that comment much less, to know that they're just hanging out, listening, taking the occasional shot at the person on the screen.

[hefdaddy42]

seems like he's already learned quite enough from it. he's learned that particular coworker is a douchenozzle

I had a boss once who was a huge asshole. He berated me in front of a couple coworkers once and I was pissed as hell at him, wanted to quit, etc. He was absolutely 100% wrong in the way that he gave me negative feedback. But some of what he said was correct. Had I not been able to step away from my negative feelings about him being an asshole, I would have continued my career doing a disservice to myself through the way I was working. I am now actually thankful that situation happened. Yes, he should have sat me down privately and coached me on how to work better, but I got what I got.

I am a supervisor at my business, and I can tell you that the culture here would 1000% be against your boss's methods, and I'm confident that if someone here pulled that stunt, a group of other supervisors/leaders would pull that boss aside and have a word of prayer with him, so to speak.